What question do you think I’m referring to?
“Were you trying?”
After announcing that we were pregnant, I received a few “were you trying?” inquiries from friends and family. I thought it was an awkward question to answer and quite frankly, it made me feel like I was being judged.
On the one hand, if I answered “yes,” I felt like the judging came from a place of: why would you be trying when your husband is still in school, neither of you know what jobs will be in store, and perhaps you’ll be moving type place. Basically that judging makes me look irresponsible.
On the other hand, if I answered “no,” I felt like the judging came from a place of: oh you weren’t trying but you got pregnant by accident type place. Basically, that judging makes me look irresponsible too.
Maybe the people weren’t judging at all, but I’m not sure why you’d ask that question – do you?
So my answer to THAT awkward question is always the same:
“We weren’t NOT trying.”
You want to know the real answer though? The real answer is this:
“In the spring time I was having irregular periods and after a cycle of 42 days and the most awful period I’ve ever had – meaning my mom and I were worried I might be miscarrying – I switched doctors and this new doctor took me seriously. She ran the appropriate blood work and she said I probably had PCOS because of how off my LH/FSH ratio was. She then told me that I would probably need assistance achieving pregnancy and that it would be best to try while I am young. I took four months of glucophage (a medicine typically used for diabetes but the side effect is regular ovulation) before achieving pregnancy. I was very lucky.
During those four months, John and I would track my basal temperature (which we were doing previously) and since the new medicine made our charts look different, we had THAT conversation of ‘what will be, will be.’ John was about to graduate, so we weren’t worried our money situation. Plus, I was probably born ready to be a mom. We had an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy, and we also learned that no polycysts were present. This was music to our ears! I’m curious to see what my new midwife will do post-baby, and I imagine follow-up blood work will be done to get some more definite answers. I don’t fit the stereotypical description of a person with PCOS, so even though John and I had a scary spring of worries, we had a happy summer filled with baby news.”
Now, THAT is the real answer. But that takes too long (and implies I want to tell you all that), agreed?